Second 30-Day Solitary Retreat at Holy Vajrasana Temple-Part I

From April 18 to May 18, 2025, Anjurshri (Armine) Alioto from Columbia, Missouri, experienced her second Solitary Silent Thirty-Day Meditation Retreat at the Holy Vajrasana Temple and Retreat Center near Sanger, California. The following are her reflections on what she experienced and what she learned from this experience.

CLICK for her comments on her previous retreat in October 2023. This time she was “told” to take this retreat and given quite specific instructions on what she needed to do to both advance her Dharma practice and live in this world. When I interviewed her after her retreat, she was determined to carry out what she learned. Although she cannot publicly share the most profound and life-changing instructions, I will vouch for her efforts to proceed. We will be hopefully hearing more soon.

Reflection on My 30-Day Silent Retreat: What I learned from Buddha

Part I

Holy Vajrasana Temple & Retreat Center, Sanger, CA April 2025

By Anjurshri (Armine) Alioto

“Only after I learn something can I make use of it.  Otherwise, I am an idiot,” H.H. Dorje Chang Buddha III, Expounding the Absolute Truth through the Heart Sutra.               

I am encouraged to share with you what I have learned on my 30-day silent retreat. My sincere wish is that you will find some hidden gems that will be as meaningful to your practice as this experience has been for me.   Blessings to H.H. Dorje Chang Buddha III, Buddhas, Bodhisattvas, Mahasattvas and Dharma Protectors for compassionately benefiting all living beings. Blessings to Zhaxi Zhuoma Rinpoche Shang Da De for making this retreat possible.

Lightening, Thunder, Wind, Flood, Fire and a Wolverine

My previous visit to Vajrasana Temple was an experience with the elements of nature and the appearance of a wolverine.  I learned that obtaining the Buddha-dharma is not easy.  I must be fearless. Apply effort. Rouse bodhicitta. And be patient.

Self-Cultivation

This retreat was a different experience. It was all about conduct-cultivation. My first 30-day silent retreat focused on the importance of preliminary practices in building a foundation for cultivation. Karmic conditions have matured, and I entered my second 30-day silent retreat.  I must not fear failure.  Mistakes are made. I now understand that mistakes are opportunities for learning. Incomplete understanding creates the conditions for learning. They are the skillful means for me. Realization arises and then I can apply that learning to correct my behavior. I embrace the missteps and learn from them. No living being is perfect. That is the point. I must persevere to attain liberation.

The fear is that I and other living beings will not escape this revolving cycle of birth and death, the sufferings of reincarnation.  My hair is turning silver and my body is showing signs of aging.  A sense of urgency arises.

I must be honest with myself and truly correct my behavior throughout each day. Vowing not to do the misdeed again.  Do not let a day go by without introspection and self-correction. Be vigilant.  Without self-correction I would be floundering in the tumultuous sea of samsara with no means to save myself or to save other living beings.

How do I do this?  The answer came by asking the question. Use the 128 Evil and Erroneous Views as a guide to daily cultivation practice. I set out to explore and uncover my misunderstandings.  What was holding me back from liberation? One by one I went through each view carefully reading and reflecting on the commentary.  I dug deep to check myself against each one. I wanted to know what I was overlooking.  The exploration was fruitful.  This is what I am able to share with you.

Ask Questions

• Keep asking questions.  Where there are no questions, how can I find answers?
• How can I find answers?  No question leads to no answers.
• What is stopping me from probing deeply?  I must consider that. The more that I inquire, the more open I become to the infinite nature of the Buddha-dharma.  Asking questions is a way to uncover my misconceptions and see the false understandings.
• The more I learn and understand, the more I realize that I don’t know.
• I found that this not-knowing is the key that opens the door to emptiness and the experience of emptiness where there are no words.

Is very important to interact and engage with the yidam.  Forming a connection with the yidam through a Dharma practice is helpful for making progress on the path toward liberation. Communication is essential for uncovering truths and also for revealing mistaken views.  Even though the yidam already knows my questions and answers, the purpose is to engage in a type of dialogue. By using the shifting the mind practice, I can then ponder and enter into contemplation.  Then, prajna illumination sheds light upon language prajna.  For me, reflection is helpful. Quieting the mind and body, I rest with no words or conceptualizations. This allows the space for prajna to arise.  What I had not realized before becomes evident. I offer gratitude and am most thankful for the Buddha’s teachings in the Supreme and Unsurpassable Mahamudra of Liberation and I rely upon the Dharma for progress in the path.

Continue To Plant the Seeds

By asking correct questions, I am continuing to plant the seeds that will grow into healthy seedlings.  The seedlings then grow into mature plants that will nourish all living beings.  Every life is precious. What is planted will grow according to the law of cause and effect. If it is true and correct Dharma, the results will yield true and correct understanding of a Buddha.  If the Dharma is not correct or insufficient, then the result will be lacking.  Buddhas and Bodhisattvas can’t grow from incorrect and insufficient Dharma.  That is the law of cause and effect. Buddhas and Bodhisattvas use the 128 evil and erroneous view as a Dharma practice. That is the reason I found the 128 Evil and Erroneous Views to be so illuminating.  Do not overlook any of the views.  Ponder deeply. Correct understanding of the views leads to liberation.

Investigation, Many Methods and Many Levels

This Buddhist principle of investigation may sound very familiar to you. The challenge for was for me to apply the fruits of this principle to correcting my day-to-day behavior.  Having an extended period on a thirty-day retreat  with few distractions allowed me an opportunity to focus my mind to investigate thoughts and beliefs that were leading to problems preventing me from becoming accomplished.  Doing conduct-cultivation in a practical and timely way was a method to correct mistaken views.  My task was to use the 128 Evil and Erroneous Views as a method for discovering my shortcomings. Simple and not so simple. There are many ways to learn the Buddha-dharma, and many methods to become aware of the truths of the Dharma. Realization is dependent upon spiritual capacity and karmic conditions. Teachings can occur at any time and on many different levels.  The magnificence of the Buddha-dharma is infinite in the ways that it can unfold.  

Why Practice the 128 Evil and Erroneous Views?

What I learned is the importance of having a correct understanding of these views. Having correct views are an essential requirement for attainment and liberation. The views cannot be lightly read or hastily dismissed. The Buddhas and Bodhisattvas use these views as their Dharma practice of enlightenment.  This format is just another method that H.H. Dorje Chang Buddha III uses to teach us.  Gems of prajna are embedded within the holy  teachings. The teachings like other holy works require repeated review and checking against behavior. I began to see the views differently and as a true Buddha-dharma discourse, rather than merely a list to be checked off.

• Not all evil views are listed.
• Not all erroneous views carry the same karmic weight.  Some erroneous views are so heavy that having only one mistaken view can block your liberation.
• Ask for help from the yidam to uncover your shortcomings.
• Immediately repent and self-correct.
• Be honest.
• Be respectful of the holy nature of these teachings.
• Make offerings.

I learned that if I treat the Dharma in a lackadaisical manner, then the karmic results will be neutral or less beneficial.  I will not be able to escape samsara and become liberated if I do not take this teaching to heart and sincerely correct myself.

 A Portable Practice

This is a portable practice.  I can take the practice of the 128 Evil and Erroneous Views with me wherever I go.  Anywhere. Anytime. That is the joy of knowing that it will always be with me. I will never be alone, even when outward appearances may seem that I am alone. This is the beauty of cultivation.  Cultivation is life.  There is no shortage of what can be used for investigation.  The key is the application.  I learned that I must apply the Dharma teachings and results into non-stop cultivation.  This becomes a new way for me to approach samsaric life.

Transition from Temple to Household

I asked the question about how I can live the temple-life at home. No problem.  All I have to do is apply the Buddhist principles that we have been taught to fit the flow of the household. Easy-Easy-Easy. Morning, afternoon and evening. Practice daily until it becomes a habit, until it becomes natural.

• Check yourself against the Dharma of 128 Views daily.
• Do Dharma study.
• Apply the teachings in a practical down-to-earth way.
• Do Dharma practice daily.
• Bodhicitta will naturally arise.
• Cultivate right understanding and right view.
• Continually correct yourself.
• Apply the three purifying precepts, six paramitas, 10 good characteristics, eight fundamental right views and bodhi exchange during everyday living.

It is the same practice regardless of whether one lives in a monastery, is visiting a temple, or lives a life of a householder. Regardless of whether I am a lay person, rinpoche, nun, monk, Dharma King, or bodhisattva, it is still the same practice of vigilance, self-correction and rousing bodhicitta for all living beings. I learned that it is very important to see this cultivation from this perspective. All Buddhas and Bodhisattvas follow this path.  There are no exceptions.  The only difference is how well we practice and our level of understanding and realization.  Underlying all levels of realization, no matter what level of understanding I may have at the moment, is Buddha-nature.  Buddha-nature is always there. The seed of goodness is transformational for those with the good fortune and wisdom to attain. Through correct cultivation abilities arise.  Abilities are the skillful means used to benefit living beings.  Abilities help you to better understand yourself and other living beings.  Supernormal abilities are the usages of a Buddha and to a lesser extent holy people, to benefit all living beings in a way that is acceptable to them.  More tools in the toolbox.  You speak to living beings in a language that they can understand and accept.  Supernormal abilities allows a greater variety of helpfulness. All cultivation is for the purpose of helping living beings.  It is really simple. Do not make it hard.  Reaching out a hand when it is needed and in a way that a living being can understand and use.  It really is all about the approach.  What is needed at the moment.  What will it take to make a change and relieve suffering?

Do Not Be Attached to Any Phenomena-Form or Formless, Conditioned or Unconditioned

True release comes from not believing the false to be true.  I learned that progress on the path involves not just release from self, it also involves abandoning any attachment whatsoever to phenomena including holy phenomena of the unconditioned.  No clinging whatsoever. If you cling to holy phenomena, to holy Dharma, to emotional attachments, you will stay an ordinary person.

As an ordinary person, how will I be able to help and save living beings?

I must therefore overcome my attachments to truly succeed and free myself from the bonds, knots of samsara.

I must experience this truth first, then I will be able to truly help and save living beings.

This is what I learned while on a Thirty-day silent retreat (that at times was not so silent!) and what I am continuing to learn day by day.

I offer the merit from my cultivation to all living beings.  May all living beings be free from suffering and attain complete liberation.

I offer deep gratitude to H.H. Dorje Chang Buddha III and the Buddhas and Bodhisattvas in the 10 directions, who guide us and benefit all living beings.

Blessings to Zhaxi Zhuoma Rinpoche Sang Da De for her tireless work in bringing the Buddha-dharma to all living beings.

CLICK for article on “Second 30-Day Solitary Retreat at Holy Vajrasana Temple-Part II.”